Some couples are just meant to be. Bright and bubbly, San is the vivacious complement to Hai’s quiet, gentle calm. And while they may not be the effusive type, prone to gushing nonstop about the other, there is a calm and contentment about the couple that hints at the strength of their bond. It’s a bond, and a love, that’s had a lifetime to grow.
Before immigrating to the United States, their families were close friends in Vietnam. And, after the move, they all stayed in close contact despite being on opposite coasts. “I always knew Hai as our families were very good friends,” explains San. “But as children we didn’t really spend a lot of time together…I hung out with the girls and he hung out with the boys.”
As the years went by, their families continued to keep in touch and the two watched each other from a far. Then, during one visit, Hai’s cousin asked San if she remembered him. “I said, ‘yes, of course.’ And we started talking again, just as friends.”
It didn’t take long for the two to realize there was a spark. But, despite their interest, things moved slowly and carefully for the couple since they were living on opposite sides of the country. “We just kept talking and talking. Eventually it just happened…there was no moment where we started dating. We just were.”
But since the couple was living far apart, with San studying pharmacology in Pennsylvania, and Hai in Texas working as a computer systems analyst, most of their relationship developed over the phone at first. “We were both really focused on our careers at that time,” says San. “It was difficult at times to be apart, but we had goals we wanted to accomplish.”
Upon graduating, San moved back to California for her pharmacy residency, which brought her a few states closer to Hai, but they still found themselves dating mostly from afar. Little by little, things continued to grow more serious and eventually, Hai decided to relocate to be closer to San and took a job in California. “I didn’t need to be near her to know she was special; I just knew she was the one,” he says. “We knew each other from the inside out.”
Finally together, the couple was eager to have a normal dating life. They enjoyed spending time together, traveling, biking, and simply taking in life. Then, just six months later, Hai surprised San with a proposal.
Knowing how close San was with her family, Hai opted to plan a proposal that would include them. First, he spoke with her parents to get their blessing on the union, which they happily gave. Then, Hai did something that few grooms would do – he took San’s mother ring shopping with him. “I wanted to know what she would like, but still surprise her,” Hai explains. “Plus, I knew that her mother would really enjoy that.”
“It was very respectful of Hai to involve my mother,” San adds. “And I know she loved it.”
With the family blessing and a ring purchased, Hai planned a trip to Monterey for San and her family. “I remember thinking it was kind of funny that he wanted us all to go and everyone was so excited about it,” San says. “But now I know that they knew the proposal was coming!”
The family spent a day touring in Monterey, visiting the beach, the famous aquarium, and visiting quaint shops and restaurants. Then, Hai suggested that everyone go for a drive along the beautiful 17-mile drive. “He was looking for this special bench that we sat on our first trip,” San recalls. “We had a lot of memories there.”
Once he found it, everyone piled out of the car and Hai asked a very surprised San to be his wife. She may have been surprised, but there was no doubt in San’s mind that she would say yes. She immediately accepted the proposal and Hai slipped a beautiful diamond engagement ring on her finger while her family looked on. “It was so very special to have my family there and involved,” San says. “I thought he was so thoughtful to have thought of my family. It made it so much more memorable for me…and, our families were how we met in the first place, so it was fitting.”
After the engagement, San and Hai celebrated with their families at a special dinner in Monterey. But the celebration didn’t last long before it gave way to full planning mode. Hai and San’s wedding date was set for October, leaving the newly engaged couple just seven months to plan the details.
“In the Chinese culture, there are certain days that are lucky for weddings,” San explains. “When we got engaged, my Dad’s mother selected a wedding day for us.”
Almost immediately, San and Hai began finalizing the details for their upcoming nuptials. And despite the bride’s initial stress over the condensed timeline, it seemed their date did bring them luck after all. “We got lucky and Arden Hills was available, which was our first choice,” she says. “I’ve always really liked it there; it’s so beautiful.”
The club also offers both indoor and outdoor ceremony cites, which San and Hai needed, as they would be hosting both a traditional Chinese tea ceremony and an American-style wedding ceremony. To tie the two locations together, San selected a strong, vibrant color palette made up of her and Hai’s favorite colors: hot pink and fuchsia for the bride and green for the groom. Exotic orchids and calla lilies were selected for the flower arrangements and bouquets. At both the ceremony and reception sites, fabric was used to bring the bright color scheme to life.
San and Hai’s big day finally arrived. After primping, San donned a traditional red kipao, which is the customary dress for a Chinese bride, and headed to the courtyard room for the Chinese tea ceremony. “This is done to honor to our parents,” San explains. “It’s very small and intimate, just close family and friends. The bride and groom pay respect to their parents and the elders in their family…Typically it’s also when the bride and groom’s families first meet, but that clearly wasn’t the case for us!”
After the morning tea ceremony, San changed into a stunning white wedding gown. At the villa, surrounded by flowers and sunshine, San and Hai exchanged vows in front of 90 guests. The couple added a sand pouring and few short readings to their ceremony, which included spontaneous, unwritten vows. “We thought about it before hand, but we didn’t write them down,” San says. “We just spoke from the heart.”
After being pronounced husband and wife, the newlyweds celebrated with their guests and enjoyed hors d’oeuvres, drinks, and conversation in the courtyard. Then, the couple and their bridal party went off to take photographs before their evening reception. “That was a lot of fun,” San says. “We had time to relax and spend time with the people who are closest to us.”
Later that evening, 350 guests joined the newlyweds for a traditional Chinese reception. “At Chinese weddings, it’s customary to greet your guests and take a photograph with them as they enter,” San explains. “So our florist created this wonderful backdrop with fabric in our colors and we used the floral arrangements from the ceremony.”
Once inside, guests were treated to a 10-course Chinese banquet, including jellyfish salad, quail, and a half lobster for each guest. The amazing menu was created by the bride’s father, and incorporated traditional wedding dishes and other specialties that are thought to bring luck and prosperity. As they ate, traditional live Chinese and Vietnamese music played.
“There was a lot of food,” says the bride. “We didn’t do centerpieces at the table, because at a Chinese wedding the food is the centerpiece.”
Once the lavish meal was complete, the bride and groom cut their five-tier wedding cake, which included exotic flavors like mango and guava, in addition to chocolate and strawberry.
By this time, the couple was ready to shift into party mode. The traditional Vietnamese and Chinese music gave way to a DJ who playing club and dance hits. The younger crowd took to the dance floor and partied the night away.
When it was all said and done, San and Hai’s whirlwind wedding day was a perfect blend of tradition, family, and romance. “My favorite part was the end of the night, because we could finally relax and enjoy the moment and all of our hard work,” says San.
Hai has an opposite perspective. “My favorite moment was standing at the altar at Arden Hills, waiting for her to come down the aisle and waiting for it all to begin,” he recalls. “Seeing her for the first time was very special and memorable.”
As for what the future holds, San and Hai are just taking it one day at a time – happy to be building a life and memories together. No matter what life may bring, they’re confident they’ll face it united. “Hai knows what I’m going to say before I say it,” San says. “He’s so understanding and so very thoughtful. I don’t have to explain myself to him, he just knows.”
The groom is quick to add that he feels the same way. “She brings out the best in me,” he says of his bride. “When I’m around her, I’m more myself than with anyone else.”
With that kind of comfort and ease, it’s easy to see why the couple is so peaceful and content in their relationship. But perhaps the best indicator of their love isn’t anything grand or serious at all – it’s the little things.
“We honestly really enjoy the simple things in life,” San says. “Those are the best times. We can just be walking to Target together and it will be fun because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company…there’s nothing better than that.”
PHOTO: Quinn Photography
